Got a doozy for you guys tonight. If you’re like me and have lived the typical life of a 18-24 year old American, you have revelled in many a night of eating way unhealthily and generally being up to absolutely no good. In other words, there were many Cheetos and Mountain Dew type nights. Well, in that case, I’ve got great/terrible news for you: In Japan, some genius marketing department has decided to combine the two into one gloriously disturbing package.
Behold, the chalice of misery
Me being the nice guy that I am, I decided to take one for the team and sample this strange exotic delicacy. The result will not surprise anyone with any rational thinking skills:
It was absolutely disgusting, plain and simple. While texturally Cheetos-y, the flavor of the corn puffs simply screamed “chemical disaster!” I’d imagine that the genesis of this latest Japanese masterpiece was that one day a janitor at the Frito-Lays plant accidentally dumped his mop water into a vat of otherwise normal Cheetos and thus forced an entire nation to endure a simply dreadful snacking experience.
On the Mount Rushmore of arbitrary Japanese ingenuity, Mountain Dew Cheetos go up next to kendamas, washlets, and robot dogs. The Mount Rushmore of arbitrary Japanese ingenuity would then promptly implode, leaving nothing but odd vaguely Mountain Dew-ey Cheetos dust in its wake.
If you encounter a cup of these things in a dark alley, I’d suggest that you run. Run as fast as your stubby legs can take you. And don’t look back.
So as I reported earlier, I bought a bag of a peculiar hangover cure-turned-snack-food-concoction from my local conbini (short for convenience store, don’t you know?). Today, well technically yesterday since it’s currently two in the morning, I finally got around to tasting it. Anyways, the video of me actively tasting it is as follows:
So after the relative high of the warm and rich Hokkaido Potato Buns, I was met with a resounding meh from the hangover crisps. They weren’t bad per se but they weren’t all that awesome really, pretty much just weird Cheetos with an aftertaste and not much of the promised tandoori chicken flavor.
Now is this snack effective in warding off alcohol-induced pain? I don’t know… Can plain Cheetos cure a hangover? If they can, then the answer is probably yes. If not, well…
Anyways, I’ve got one other food item lined up for Stephen Eats Weird(ish) Food then I’ve either got to start looking for more stuff or simply wait for the next cycle of fresh funky flavors out of the Japanese food conglomerates. (Japanese convenience stores usually rotate their special flavors of items every month or so but it usually seems like a day.) If any of you, my faithful readers, have any suggestions for stuff I should eat or questions about Japan in general (“Will Fukushima radiation give you wings?”), hit me up in the comments section here or on youtube or you can reach me on Twitter @STEPHEN TETSU. Things will only get better if you guys pitch in because I sure as hell don’t have the talent of skills to make this crap any good.
PS Ukon no Chikara is meant to be ingested before the night of drinking so that the turmeric (the main ingredient in the magic elixir) can kick in before the booze wreaks havoc on your insides. I’m assuming that the situation is the same with the corn snacks as well.
So, as anyone who has ever seen a picture of me can attest, I am a fan of food. Thus, one of the primary benefits of moving to Japan is the opportunity to eat the bevy of bizarre junk food the country seems to churn out on a regular basis. Just in my first three months in the country, I’ve encountered such delicacies as Mountain Dew-flavored corn snacks, salty fruit drinks, and more weird chip flavors than you can shake a stick at.
Today’s discovery is Cheetos’ special flavor making the rounds in Japan, Kyushu soy sauce-flavor (九州じょうゆ味). Me being me, I of course decided to try the flavor on video.
Now, in the video, I said that these tasted like Cheetos with all the cheese sucked off of them but that’s not entirely true. It took a while for the flavor to get to me but when it did, I actually quite enjoyed the subtle sweet and salty savory tones to the processed corn snacks. Not trying to get to flowery here but I think I might have enjoyed this flavor more than the original cheese ones. (They still have a ways to go before even approaching the genius of Flaming Hot Cheetos, however.)
Anyways, if you guys have any suggestions for odd Japanese foods I can try or a desire to feed me something so disgusting it makes me puke, share it with me in the comments section below (or on youtube) or on my twitter feed @STEPHEN_TETSU. I love to eat and I’m down to try just about anything (well that kinda read like a dating advertisement).